My Twin Cities Wedding

The Shoe Dilemma

2009-03-31T19:45:00.001-06:00

Shopping for shoes is about as much fun for me as a root canal. I have wide feet, and although I know what styles I like, I never can find shoes to fit right. So many styles don't come in wide sizes, so I'm forced to decide if I want to buy a shoe that's too long, but finally wide enough, or just squeeze into the medium width size in the right length. In the end, I waste a lot of money on shoes I never wear because they don't fit right and are too painful to make it through a day.

I tried on a lot of wedding shoes. I went to David's and tried on their wide sizes. They were all blah... to me, anyway.

Enter Zappos.com.

Finally, I went online and searched on the zappos.com site. For those of you who haven't been to zappos, it is literally shoe heaven. I had ordered with success from there before, so I figured it was worth a shot. In the end I chose 4 pairs that looked like they might work. I ordered them all (free shipping!), and when they arrived, I tried them all on. One was absolutely perfect, style AND fit. That was my shoe! I sent the rest back. (Free returns!!)

Voila- shoe shopping comes to my living room.

You can't see the detail that well in the picture, but the shoes match the tiny aurora borealis beading along the waistline of the dress. It's like they were made to go together.
For about $50.

Our Hot Little Red Ride

2009-03-30T19:50:00.003-06:00

Our budget just didn't allow for a limo. And it wasn't our style, anyway. Luckily, Sean's dad has a slick red Chrysler that he was so generous to loan us for the night. We had a great time zipping around after the reception... we went to Walgreen's (needed contact solution) and cruised around a little.

I recommend going someplace completely public and unexpected... when else are you going to be wearing your wedding attire in public?! We had great reactions from total strangers wishing us luck and love and a lifetime of happiness. I always love to see newly wed couples out and about, so I'm glad we did it!

Mother-of-the-Bride Dress

2009-03-28T20:14:00.000-06:00

My mom agonized over her dress for months. She and I live in different cities, so I wasn't able to shop with her. She also wasn't all that computer savvy at the time (although know she "facebooks"- go mom!), so the best we could do was descriptions over the phone. I told her she should wear a dress she loved and felt good in. She went to several bridal salons, but she said everything felt to fancy or matronly. She found her dress at Macy's, on sale, for around $100. And she looked radiant. She got the great silver sandals to go with it, and now she wears those with other things too. Great choice, mom! (You'd never believe she's 62, would you?! And single... ;)

My Girl's Dresses

2009-03-27T20:16:00.001-06:00

I've had the honor of being in a number of weddings, which were all wonderful experiences. The one problem is that being IN a wedding can be very expensive if the bride asks the 'maids to buy certain things to create a "look." I wanted my girls to look classy, but I didn't want them to have to worry about expenses, so I asked them all to wear a black dress of their choosing, with black dress sandals. My only request was that the dress be knee-length or below. As a gift, I gave them all antique aurora borealis crysal necklaces. They all looked absolutely beautiful, and I couldn't have been happier with the classy combination. Best of all, they really CAN wear their dresses again if they want. Since they all lived in different cities, there was no need to coordinate the buying of the dresses either!

How we made our bouquets

2009-03-26T17:42:00.016-06:00

The sunflower-growing plan worked really well. If you have a garden and can plan ahead, I totally recommend growing your own flowers. We had a crew of my bridesmaids pick the flowers the day before the wedding. We set aside several of the largest, most beautiful flowers for the girls' bouquets, as well as the smaller-sized flowers for boutenniers (sp?) and wrist corsages. These remained untouched in 5-gallon buckets, each with the name of the girl who would hold it.

We didn't have quite enough flowers for all the bouquets, so two of my bridesmaids executed Plan B: They went to the farmer's market and scored 3 beautiful bunches of sunflowers for about $10 apeice. They also picked some wild that were growing along side of the road to fill in the aisle bouquets. (I had the best friends ever, btw.)

We then spent about 2 hours the day before the wedding putting together the flowers for the aisles- We just took two sunflowers, a sprig of greens, and some raffia ribbon and tied them all together. They sat in 5-gallon buckets in the cool basement and were in great shape the next day.

The morning of the wedding, we had two friends who had practiced putting together bouquets, etc, assemble the wedding party flowers. In all, it took them about 2 hours, working from the pre-prepared selections. They used flower wire, flower tape, and raffia ribbon. And everything looked FANTASTIC!

It cost less about $50 total for all the flowers, and they were really special because of the work we put into them and what they represented for me. :)

The Wedding Photo Book

2009-03-24T18:35:00.000-06:00

It's been awhile since the wedding, but I am realizing people are still looking at the site for ideas... I'm updating with all the "after-thoughts". Hopefully some will be useful to you!

The first is The Wedding Book. We bought the rights to all our pictures as part of our photo package. If you have ANY desire whatsoever to do anything with your photos yourself, I recommend negotiating this into your deal. We got every image that was taken on CD. We have since been able to make our own slideshow and wedding book. I made the wedding book with great software from my favorite photo book site, blurb.com. If you're not familiar with blurb.com, you download the software, design your book yourself, then upload it to the blurb to be printed. In a couple of weeks, your lovely book arrives at your door. Voila. You can order as many as you want, and their prices are pretty darn reasonable. I think for our layout (the biggest possible) and 80+ pages of the nicest paper, it was about $70 per book.

If you aren't as computer savvy you can hire folks (like me, if you email me- I've done several books now and love doing it.) to put together you book for you. Take a look!

I'll post more day-of-the-wedding pics as well.

Sunflowers- The ones we are growing

2007-04-03T17:12:00.000-06:00

This is just a post for me and my fellow growers, so we can see what our cultivars are supposed to look like! They are, in order of picture:
Fantasia, Chianti, Strawberry Blonde, Claret, Joker, Moonshadow, Fun N Sun, Bashful, Lemon Aura and Eclair

We Met Online...

2007-03-31T14:27:00.000-06:00

In the past few days, Sean and I have been reflecting on our relationship over the past 14-ish months with a bit of giddy disbelief. At this time last year, we didn't even know each other.
In fact, we had both just gotten out of relationships and were only starting to think about dating again.

Enter Match.com. (This isn't an advertisment for that site in particular- it worked for us then, but it's also changed a lot since then too.)
He *winked* at me. I took a look at this profile. He was handy... a carpenter by choice. He had a dog... had liberal politics... was pretty cute in his picture. All big pluses in my book. So I wrote him a short email. And he wrote back a longer one. He liked some of the same restaurants in my neighborhood... he had just been to the apple-orchard I was going to... we both loved the same home-made ice cream places in the Cities. He did agility with his dog!
We talked on the phone. Three nites in a row.
We set up a time to meet, but then I got stuck at work and couldn't make it.
We talked a LOT on the phone. Hours.
We finally came up with a time to meet- for dinner (normally against my blind-dating rules... but we seemed to connect so well that I made the exception.)
Mexican food.
I wore red. (I always wear red on first dates.)
He remembers the necklace I wore.
It wasn't one of those dates that lasted hours and hours into the nite like in Hollywood-land... I had to go back to work to screen a film for a student group and he had planned on just dinner also.
But it was a good date. A really good date. At work the next day, a friend asked how it went, and apparently I "glowed."
I told her (in my typical understated way)- "It went alright. I'll probably see him again."
That was 14 months ago.
Now, together, we have a house- a home- a family, of us and our dogs- thinking about a family that gets even larger- looking at our names side-by-side on contracts and deeds, thinking
wow... this is real.
this is perhaps the most real thing i've ever been a part of.
and certainly the best thing i've ever been part of.
14 months ago is so far away.

So, why the sunflower?

2007-03-31T14:20:00.000-06:00

This is a cross-post from the Houseblog that talks a little more about why I'm so obsessed with sunflowers...

Since we are taking a break from the work this week and still happily dancing to the plumbing gods, I thought I'd post about something completely different. You might notice that my "icon" as a houseblogger is a sunflower- the same one in the heading of the blog. Choosing an icon was quite a challenge... I mean, how do you "brand" yourself?
I wanted something that held meaning for me, represented my personality, made sense for what I was writing about - all the looked pretty and fit recognizably in a small pixilated square. Piece of cake, right?
It seemed so, since so many other folks have these awesome icons.
After spending several hours just browsing through icons and photos, I landed on the idea of the sunflower.

Sunflowers were my grandfather's favorite flower... the national flower of the Ukraine. My grandfather- probably the most amazing person I'll ever know- built his own house... the house my grandmother still lives in... a few years after he came to this country from the Ukraine.

In Flint, Michigan, he built the foundation and the basement, where the family lived while he finished the rest, framing and hanging drywall after he came home from work at his shift in the factory. For the skills he didn't have, he hired someone, but he stood by to learn how they did the job, and then he finished it himself. He had a family- 3 small children and a wife- and not much money, so he saved wherever he could. But he never charged a neighbor when they needed help fixing a furnace or fixing a leaky pipe. He had an inspiring spirit of determination... of giving...of standing up for what he believed in.
Hmmm... so a sunflower. Represents my history, my family, the things I believe in and hope to acheive...

Yes.
My icon is the sunflower.

Ceremony Reading: Blessings

2007-03-31T12:57:00.000-06:00

We are thinking about having each one of our attendants say a part of this....

First Blessing
May you be blessed with love. May understanding bring a deep and abiding peace into your lives, fostering a love that is not only passionate but serene. May this love between you be strong and enduring.

Second Blessing
May you be blessed with wisdom. May you continually learn from one another and from the world. Together, may you grow, deepening your knowledge and understanding of each other and of your journey through life.

Third Blessing
May you be blessed with community. May you always be blessed with the awareness that you are an essential part of a circle of family and friends. May there always be within this group a sense of mutual love, trust, support and respect.

Fourth Blessing
May you be blessed with art and beauty. May your creative aspirations and experiences find expression and bring you joy and fulfillment. May your sense of humor and playful spirit continue to enliven your relationship.

Fifth Blessing
May you be blessed with health. May life bestow upon you wholeness of mind, body and spirit. May you live long that you may share many happy years together.

Sixth Blessing
May you be blessed with the experience of nature. May nature in her magnificence continue to inspire you and bring you a sense of transcendence. May the elements of earth, air, fire and water sustain you and heal you.

Seventh Blessing
May you be best friends, better together than either of you are apart. May you work together to build a relationship of substance and quality. May you respect each other’s individual personality and philosophy and give each other room to grow and fulfill each other’s dreams.

Sunflower Boutonniere

2007-03-31T10:59:00.000-06:00

Only one of these is an actual sunflower, but they are similar enough for us to have ideas for the boutonneires.

Cake and a Ring Pillow Ideas

2007-03-29T08:59:00.000-06:00

I like the cake designs. The ring pillow is adorable. I bet we can make that!

Sunflower Bouquet Ideas

2007-03-29T08:53:00.000-06:00

Today I learned that I can't spell "bouquet"- the search engines have been correcting me like crazy! Here are some nice pics... I also learned that, in some cultures, the sunflower is considered a sign of devotion. :)

i carry your heart with me, e.e. cummings

2007-03-28T08:18:00.000-06:00

i carry your heart with me e.e. cummings

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
not fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart
i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

Reading: Union by Robert Fulghum

2007-03-27T08:14:00.000-06:00

Union by Robert Fulghum

You have known each other from the first glance of acquaintance to this point of commitment. At some point, you decided to marry. From that moment of yes, to this moment of yes, indeed, you have been making commitments in an informal way. All of those conversations that were held in a car, or over a meal, or during long walks – all those conversations that began with, “When we’re married”, and continued with “I will” and “you will” and “we will” – all those late night talks that included “someday” and “somehow” and “maybe” – and all those promises that are unspoken matters of the heart. All these common things, and more, are the real process of a wedding.

The symbolic vows that you are about to make are a way of saying to one another, “You know all those things that we’ve promised, and hoped, and dreamed – well, I meant it all, every word.”

Look at one another and remember this moment in time. Before this moment you have been many things to one another – acquaintance, friend, companion, lover, dancing partner, even teacher, for you have learned much from one another these past few years. Shortly you shall say a few words that will take you across a threshold of life, and things between you will never quite be the same.

For after today you shall say to the world –
This is my husband. This is my wife.

Wedding Reading for Dog Lovers

2007-03-23T08:09:00.000-06:00

Given that we are dog lovers, we are going to have my aunt (another dog lover) read this at our wedding...

"Falling in Love is Like Owning a Dog" by Taylor Mali

First of all, it's a big responsibility,
So think long and hard before deciding on love.
But love gives you a lot of things…

On cold winter nights, love is warm.
It lies between you and lives and breathes
and makes funny noises.
Love can wake you up all hours of the night with its needs.

Love can give you a sense of security:
When you're walking down the street late at night
and you have a leash on love,
ain't no one gonna mess with you.

Love needs to be fed so it will grow and stay healthy.

Love does not like being left alone for long.
But come home and love is always happy to see you.

Love may break a few things accidentally in its passion for life,
but you can never be mad at love for long.

Love leaves you little surprises here and there.

Love makes messes.
Sometimes you just want to get love fixed.
Sometimes you want to roll up a piece of newspaper
and swat love on the nose,
But then love gives you big kisses,

And you laugh at the little things.

Sometimes love just wants to play.
Running you around the block, leaving you panting.
It pulls you in several different directions at once,
or winds around and around you,
until you're all wound up and can't move.

And love brings you together.
People who have nothing in common but love
stop and talk and greet each other on the street.

Most importantly, love needs love, and lots of it.
And in return, love loves you and loves you and never stops.

Invitations

2007-03-22T11:53:00.000-06:00

Our invitations:

We got them at Michael's, with the coupons that come in the Sunday paper. We'll print them ourselves, likely with dark brown ink. I know they aren't quite sunflowers, but they are close enough! Sean actually found them, and suggested we hand color them to look like sunflowers. I love this man. :)

A mother-daughter wedding disagreement

2007-03-19T10:06:00.000-06:00

My mother thinks we're crazy.
We decided awhile ago that we could grow our own wedding flowers.
After all, someone has to grow the flowers. Why not us?
See, we know we want sunflowers.
My mother asks, incredulously, "Sunflowers?! You mean the giant flowers that sunflower seeds come from?"
Well, yes. Sort of. See, there are lots of different kinds of sunflowers. Cultivars, as they are known in the garden world. My mother, an avid garderner, should know this.
I chose cultivars that are meant for cutting, I explained.
Pollen-less, so they won't stain anything.
Small, so they will look good in a boquet. (See picture to the left.)
And several different shades of yellow, orange, and red- to be very cheerful.
Still, all she can imagine is me holding flowers that are bigger than me, leaving a trail of sunflower seeds down the aisle.
She says," Well, maybe you can have a florist just do your boquet?"
I tell her, "Mom, we're out of money. Florists cost money. If we have no money, it stands to reason that we cannot have a florist."
She sighs.
I tell her, "Sunflowers are very, very easy to grow."
She asks, "But what if the flowers aren't blooming at the right time?"
I tell her my plan: "Mom, I have four people who are going to all grow sunflowers. I have a calendar mapped out when we have to plant each variety so they are blooming for the wedding. I have enough seeds so we can plant three batches, three weeks apart of each kind of seed, so that even if we are off a few weeks on blooms, we have backup. I think I have this planned pretty well."
She says, "But what happens if something goes wrong?"
I sigh.
If something goes wrong, we'll go to the farmer's market and get flowers there. They'll be beautiful, whatever they are. All flowers are pretty to me.
We agree to not talk about it anymore.
Until next time.
I sigh again.

Sunflower Cultivars

2007-03-18T10:21:00.000-06:00

Hi Mom- This is just to give you an idea of some of the sunflowers we're going to grow. Very pretty, yes?
All of these cultivars can be found at burpee.com.

Wedding on a Budget (Part 2)

2007-03-01T08:37:00.000-06:00

So, $9000.
How far does that go? And what the heck costs so much?
I haven't found very many people willing to be frank about what they are actually spending on their weddings. Maybe it seems rude. But to me, it's practical. How else can you decide what is even possible?

The first challenge for us was finding a site. This was also our biggest budget item.
Our site criteria were pretty simple:
* Easy location for all out-of-town guests to get to
* Ceremony and reception could both be held there
* Could accomodate 150 people for a dinner

Our Ceremony and Reception Site:
490 Summit- a mansion on Summit Avenue in St. Paul that could host both ceremony and reception dinner. They take care of all the decoration and centerpieces, run the ceremony, and provide all the catering staff, etc. We estimated 130 guests for our costs.
Costs:
$200/ hr for site rental (6 hours)
$24.95 per person for buffet dinner
$1.00 per person for serving a champagne toast

Grand total estimate with 7% tax and 17% gratuity: $ 5700

The Photography:
We looked at several photographers and compared prices. We wanted someone who considered themselves an artist and photojournalist. We didn't care about having a ton of fancy albums done for us... we just wanted really quality photos that we could then do with what we wanted (ie own the rights to the pictures).
Our price on photography: $1600

The Officiant:
I knew of a great officiant that did a friend's wedding. We both really liked her.
Her fee: $400

Ceremony Music:
We wanted live music, and I preferred strings. I found the DesCordes String Trio on The Knot.
Their fee for the ceremony: $350.

The Dress:
David's Bridal: $350.

The Veil:
Ebay: $12
Shoes, jewelry, and undergarments are things I already own or will borrow.

The Invitations, Reply Cards, and Envelopes:
Michael's, on sale. $40.

The Cake:
A local bakery, with a small display cake and sheetcakes. $250.

The Flowers:
Home-grown sunflowers.
Seeds: $24. Floral materials: $40. Help growing and arranging from friends and family: Priceless.

The Videographer:
A friend of the family who does videography. $100.

The Favors:
CD's we make ourselves: $40

What we aren't doing:
* Alcohol at the reception (except champagne toast- there will be an "after-party" at a local pub)
* A DJ (We are making a playlist and hooking it up to their sound system, with a friend as the "Emcee)
* A limo/ fancy transportation (not necessary, since everything is in the same place)
* Bridesmaid dresses (Girls are wearing black dresses they pick out themselves)

Grand total : $8906, with a little wiggle room for things like small gifts for parents and attendants, and other incidentals like getting my hair done the day of.

Wedding on a Budget (Part 1)

2007-02-28T17:32:00.000-06:00

Well, so far, we are sticking to our budget. And our budget is, as I have discovered in my planning...small. How small? Less than $9,000 small. When we started planning in January, we would have said it was crazy to think of $9,000 as a small number. I thought we could plan our wedding with half that. (Even now, I can hear the wedding gods laughing hysterically at that idea!)
So we debated even having a wedding. Considered eloping. Yep. Considered a destination wedding. Yep. Considered a potluck. Vegas. Yep. Considered all the other options.
Then family chimed in. (*Deep breath*)
My mother forbade eloping. (Of course, that only made it more appealing...)
My sister-in-law couldn't wait to help plan.
And Sean's dad starting telling people to mark their calendars.
And it continued...My family lives in Michigan. They never come here. I have friends who have never been here. Sean has a huge family that is scattered across the US and several different countries. Really, the only excuse for them to get together is when one of us gets married, or one of us dies. Our fathers might never meet if we didn't have a wedding.
Did we really want to miss the opportunity to bring our families together to celebrate?
Did we?
Well, no.
Family is one of the most important things to both of us.
(sigh.)
So how many family? The first guest list was over 250, including family and only close friends. With a mom as one of 8 and dad as one of 10 siblings, Sean is related to more people than I think I even know. The first cut (those out of town and out of touch enough to be sure to not come) got us down to about 200. We think between 130-150 will be there.
So we made a budget, with family contributions. About $9000.
And away we go....

Socially Conscious Venue Choices!

2007-02-21T12:29:00.000-06:00

Choosing your site can be a socially conscious decision!

I thought this article was worth sharing:

The location a couple chooses for their nuptials is one of their most important wedding planning decisions, reflecting both their values and personalities. A socially conscious wedding location is one where the site itself is dedicated to public good, and proceeds from weddings go toward maintaining the site. For example, the fee to host a wedding at a nature preserve, botanical garden, museum, or historical society helps to pay for the maintenance of the location and often the educational programs that take place there.

The great news is that choosing a socially conscious wedding location can actually help couples save money. These locations generally cost a lot less than most traditional wedding venues, may require less decorating, and, because they are not the first places couples usually consider for a wedding, are usually easier to book than traditional wedding venues.

Artistic Expressions: Museums and Galleries
Couples can create a dramatic backdrop for their event and give their guests something to think about when they choose an artistic venue, such as an art museum or gallery. The Art Museum Network (http://www.amn.org) has listings of museums around the country, as well as information about their collections and exhibits for couples who would like to coordinate their wedding theme with museum exhibits.

History in the Making: Historical Sites and Homes
Hosting at wedding at an historical location helps to both educate guests and, in many cases, to support educational outreach programs for elementary and high school students. The Directory of Historic House Museums lists hundreds of historic houses in every state, some of which have special events planners on staff. Couples can click on the website of the location for information about event planning, or contact the sites directly to speak with an event planner. (www.preservationdirectory.com/housemuseums_main.html)

Stop to Smell the Roses: Parks and Botanical Gardens
Parks and botanical gardens offer beautiful settings for weddings with little need for more decoration. The National Park Service website, www.nps.gov, hosts a directory of local, state, and national parks from which couples can select by natural formation (glaciers, volcanoes, and wildflowers to name a few choices!), activities available, and park type. By typing "weddings" into the search field of the NPS website, couples can also find a range of pre-organized wedding services in different parks. The American Association of Botanical Gardens and Arboreta (http://www.aabga.org/) also provides a national listing of botanical gardens and arboreta searchable by state.

A Community Affair: Community Centers and Not-for-profit Buildings
Community centers and nonprofit organizations often open their doors to couples looking for a unique wedding venue. For same sex couples, The National Directory of LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender) Community Centers website, www.lgbtcenters.org/directory.asp, provides a listing of community centers in almost every state.

Where the Wild Things Are: Aquariums and Wildlife Preserves
Couples can take their guests for a walk on the wild side by hosting their wedding and reception at an aquarium or wildlife preserve. The rental fees for ceremony and reception spaces go toward maintaining the animals' natural habitat, care, and, in some cases, preservation of endangered species. The Directory of World Aquariums (http://www.mr-to.com/aquarium/world.html) lists aquariums in the U.S. and abroad.

A Nice Day for A Green Wedding...

2007-02-20T17:54:00.000-06:00

Excerpt from It's A Nice Day for A Green Wedding....

When it comes to preserving Planet Earth, everyone wants to do the right thing. That’s why so many of us recycle, buy organic foods, and don’t dump anything toxic down the nearby storm drain. But when it comes to planning the Big Day, we worry that being environmentally correct will mean sacrificing our cherished wedding vision.

Luckily, you no longer have to wrestle with your conscience to have a celebration that is both beautiful and “green”—or at least, green-ish. Okay, so you might not be Judy Granola, determined to eradicate every aspect of her celebration tainted with anything unhealthy or consumeristic. But you’re probably not Betty Bridezilla either, who wouldn’t think of having a recycling bin if it clashes with her powder blue chair covers. The reality is that most of us have daily habits that range from environmentally correct to careless, usually depending on convenience. However, no matter where you are on the green spectrum, it’s easy to make a few thoughtful adjustments that go a long way towards raising your green standard.

What is Green, Anyway?

“Green” is a concept of promoting balance between humanity and Nature. Greenies support products that are eco-friendly, produced in a socially responsible manner, and enrich local or indigenous communities. They endorse sustainable farming, with an emphasis on local and seasonal produce, which minimizes depletion of natural resources.

Does What I Do Really Matter?

Raising awareness, and doing it with grace, is one of the most meaningful contributions you and your groom can make. Consider that the U.S. wedding industry is a $70 billion a year business. Your event budget is part of one powerful lobby! Every time you question a product or service’s environmental and social impact, you send a strong message to Corporate America. When you buy locally, you are countering corporate dominance.

You also have the ability to inspire. Your wedding is an outward expression of you and your groom’s inner values. Not only is your green celebration a promise to care for each other throughout your lives, it’s also a public commitment to nurturing the planet. As Michele Kozin, author of Organic Weddings puts it: “From backyard to black-tie, a wedding is the perfect opportunity to show family and friends the stylish side of environmental and social responsibility.”

...Continue reading at It's A Nice Day for A Green Wedding....

The Wedding Shoppe Review

2007-02-19T08:48:00.000-06:00

The trip to the Wedding Shoppe was a spur-of-the-moment adventure with my maid of honor, Jessie. She and I had a Saturday free, and we decided to go try on some dresses. She and I had been to the Wedding Shoppe once before to help another find a dress, and we had a good experience then. I also liked the setting: a neat old historic house on Grand Ave.
So, off we set.

First recommendation: Make an appointment, especially if you go on a Saturday!!

You can go without an appointment, but you get on a "waitlist", and then when a spot opens up, they will call you. When we got on the waitlist, we were told it might be up to three hours before there was space for us. Unfortunately, all the dresses are upstairs with the fitting rooms, so you can't even look at the dresses while you wait. You can, however, look at invitations and other wedding accessories on the first floor- they bill themselves as a "one-stop wedding shop".
Since we had nothing better to do, we put our name on the list and went shopping for other things. There's no shortage of places to shop or eat on Grand Ave, so we passed the time quickly.

Once called upstairs, we removed our shoes and were introduced to our clerk. I brought some pictures to give her ideas of styles I liked- that helped her bring me specific dresses. You can look through all of their dresses yourself, and they do have a very good selection. They also had a fairly big price range, and they ask you for a dress budget right up front, so they won't bring you something to fall in love with that you can't afford.
The shoppe was pretty busy, so I was glad to have Jessie as my helper in getting in and out of dresses- it made the process much faster. The clerk spent most of her time returning my rejects and bringing me more to try on. She seemed to be helping several of us.
So, if you want to be "waited on hand-and-foot", don't go on a Saturday!

When it gets down to decision time, they ask you to limit yourself to three choices for them to write down. They don't allow photos, but the prices and some designers are available right on the tags.

It wasn't a high-pressure selling situation, I was able to try on as many dresses as I wanted, and I didn't feel rushed at all. They followed up with me once, but didn't bombard me with phone calls later. So, overall, I would say it was a pretty good experience.

Amy Jane's Bridal Review

2007-02-13T08:32:00.000-06:00

I went by myself to Amy Jane's Bridal on Selby. After all, it's in my neighborhood and my dog and I have walked by the windows, oh, about 1000 times or so. I always admire whatever gorgeous creation they have in the window- even if it's decidedly not my style.
I knew I probably wouldn't find my dress there (and even if I did I probably wouldn't be able to afford it), but I still wanted to go.
After all, I'm a bride now, so now I get to go in places that I only used to look at from the outside. (God help me with that attitude!)
So, my visit:
The gal who helped me was very nice- and very low pressure.
You get the sense of it being a little "higher-class" when you walk in and you have to take off your shoes. They'll offer you tea or something else to drink and then ask you to look around at the dresses and choose styles you like.
They don't have a huge selection- I was surprised at how few gowns they had available- but their selection is representative of a lot of different styles. And, all of their dresses are made after you order them- so you can custom-ize your dress with features you like, minus features you don't.
They had GREAT veils. They hand-make all their veils at the store, and I found them reasonably priced and very well made.
They also have some very cool wedding jewelry from local jewelry designers.
Those were the highlights for me!

David's Bridal: Pros and Cons

2007-02-12T12:51:00.000-06:00

Ok, so you know I got my dress from David's Bridal. And ONLY my dress. Why? Well, because the other items in the whole "package deal" are pretty pricey, and you can get more for your money elsewhere.
So, here are some things you should know if you plan to go shopping there:

1) The sales clerks work on commission.
Depending on the clerk, this can mean a higher-pressure selling situation. I was talking with a gal who used to work for David's, and she noted that they were trained to "upsell," (selling you a similar but more expensive item) or add items. For instance, she always gave the potential customers undergarments, slips, and crenaline to try on dresses. These are things that you may or may not need with your dress, but as you are trying it on "in the moment," you think they are MUST-HAVE items. They also have a pretty big markup, so the profit margin for David's is pretty large- you can probably find the same things cheaper somewhere else.

But the clerks will ask you if you want these things and they will want to write it all up and get it paid for in full right away- be prepared to thank them kindly and say no, at least until later when you can assess what you really do and don't need.
I know a lot of wedding dress shops operate on commission, but I have experienced the
"hard sell" most keenly at David's.

2) You can buy the dress you try on "off the rack" but you can also order a brand new dress that has never been tried on for the exact same price. It seems like they are pretty up-front about this, but it's good to know, just in case.

3) They have sales in January and June. Most dresses are $50 off at that time.

4) They charge you for a garment bag to keep the dress in! This is ridiculous. But another example of how the actual dress is just a starting point to get you to buy, buy, buy. If you have a nice garment bag, take that instead.

5) Their tiaras and veils that are WAYYYYY overpriced. I found a much more beautiful veil in a higher quality material at one of the high-end wedding shops in the cities for half of what David's charged (and I still didn't pay that- I got mine on ebay for $12.).

Anyone else have David's experiences to share?

The Engagement Story

2007-02-08T17:58:00.000-06:00

Yes, in case you haven't heard, we're engaged.
Here's the story!

As a carpenter, Sean sometimes travels out-of-town for work. In November, he warned me he might get sent to a job over Christmas. Although his company would fly him home for the holiday, he would have to go back quickly and the work would likely extend into the New Year. This was to be our first Christmas together as a couple, and we planned to spend it with my family in Michigan. Living in Minnesota, I only get to see my family twice a year, and Sean hasn’t spent much time with them at all. I was excited for our holiday vacation and naturally disappointed about the work plans. But, as a carpenter, Sean is thankful to have winter work, and I tried to be supportive.

On the day he left for the job- the Thursday before Christmas- I dropped him off at the airport and started my 12-hour drive to Michigan. He was scheduled to fly in to Michigan on Saturday, stay for the holiday, and fly back to work the next day.

When I finally arrived at my mother’s, I got ready to go to “Dad’s Christmas.” My parents are divorced, so my dad plans a separate dinner for us to celebrate with him. Although I had told my dad that Sean wouldn’t be there until Saturday, he scheduled his Christmas dinner for Friday. My dad wanted to go “up north” to his cabin for Christmas as soon as possible. I was really irritated they couldn’t wait an extra day.

As I got ready, my mom said she was going along too. Dad had been by her house earlier in the day to pick up his mail, and he invited her to join us for dinner. “Well, that’s weird,” I thought. Although my parents get along, they don’t spend much time together. But, I thought my dad was being extra nice, since he knew I was mad Sean wouldn’t be there.

My mom and I arrived at the restaurant first- the Fenton Hotel, a very cool historic building that has been operating as a restaurant since the 1800’s. We sat down, while my brothers, my sister-in-law, and my dad and his girlfriend all arrived.

We were pouring over menus when I suddenly became aware of Sean standing next to me- I was so surprised to see him. I stood up to give him a hug and, before I could say anything, he got down on one knee, ring in hand. He said, “I’m here because I want to ask you a very important question- will you do me the honor of marrying me?”

I of course told him an enthusiastic “Yes!”, and then turned around to see my whole family smiling and tearing up, dad included. They all knew about the plan and had helped him hatch the surprise. The work trip never existed! When I dropped Sean off at the airport, he flew to Michigan and spent the day and evening with my dad and my brother getting this whole plot ready. We spent the week relaxing with family and friends in Michigan, and Sean drove back with me to Minnesota. And so here we are, back into life as usual.

The wedding details:
August 25, 2007 at 490 Summit Ave, St. Paul, MN (www.490summit.com)

I'm not much for wedding planning, so we picked a place where they basically do everything for you. Mark your calendars! :)

Some wedding industry statistics

2007-02-08T17:52:00.000-06:00

Arg. arg. Why do we do this to ourselves? Ladies? Gentlemen?

WEDDING INDUSTRY STATISTICS

The average budget for a wedding is estimated to be $20,000.
So... about $40 BILLION is spent on weddings every year in the U.S.
There are a few people around who believe this number is as high as $70 BILLION a year.

A couple will spend an average of $3,800 for their honeymoon.

The Dress

2007-02-08T17:39:00.000-06:00

My mom lives in Michigan, and I live in Minnesota. So, after Sean proposed at Christmas, I knew the only time we would have to go dress shopping together was during our Christmas trip there. I didn't have much notice, and I haven't lived in Grand Blanc for over ten years, so I had no idea where to go dress shopping. We opted for the easy: David's Bridal.
I'm not a huge fan of David's in concept. To me, it's sort of the Wal-Mart of the wedding industry, in terms of business ethics and monopoly. But I do see why brides shop there. They've got a lot of stuff, and it's easy.
We went dress shopping on the day after Christmas.
Convenient, since most people go shopping on the day after Christmas for anything BUT wedding dresses. We had a very nice sales clerk all to ourselves, and since they weren't busy with appointments, we got to stay as long as we wanted. (Apparently, David's kicks you out after 2 hours when the clerk goes on to her next appointment.)
It's a good thing for us that we did have as much time as we wanted, because my mom and sister-in-law wanted me to try on everything.
My mom liked the more fancy dresses, but they weren't my thing.
Teri did a great job of helping me narrow down things that looked good on me and were also my style.
And, surprisingly, I had fun.
I found one dress that I absolutely loved and everyone agreed was beautiful. I didn't purchase it right then (much to the clerk's dismay), but I kept thinking about it.
After all that, I tried on some more dresses here in the Twin Cities (a review of dress shops to come...)
In the end, I had fallen in love with one of the first dresses I tried on at David's. It was affordable, and it was on SALE ($350).
So, now it's mine.
THE DRESS (no peeking, Sean!)

The Anti-Bride Plans a Wedding

2007-02-08T17:21:00.000-06:00

Those of you who know me know that I have been decidedly anti-bride pretty much my whole life. Now, by "anti-bride" I don't mean I am against getting married, or against weddings as a whole. I am just not into all the hoopla that a "having a wedding" has become.
It makes makes me a little ill that there is an entire "wedding industry." It makes me even more ill to know that we, as a nation, spend the equivalent of the gross national product of small countries on these events. AND it makes me even MORE ill that there are those people out there (you know who you are) that knit-pick every teeny-tiny detail of each wedding "extravaganza," comparing one to another and deciding which events were "fabulous, dahling" and which were just "blasse."
Weddings have become a status symbol.
But not ours.
Oh no.
After being an anti-bride for nearly 30 years, I am now getting married.
And I'll be damned if I am going to be that bride.
Here's my day-by-day story as I try to stay calm, sane, and most importantly real about the whole thing.